I am ashamed to admit it but there are very small things that depresses me that some people would consider inconsequential but it means a lot to me…I really don’t know to call it but if there’s one thing I’m afraid of and find real difficulty in handling it’s..FAILURE. I hate it! And I have trouble dealing with it.

I’ve been feeling depressed all day because of a job application I had earlier in the day. They said they would call or text m within the day and yet they haven’t done so yet and it’s almost 8:00 pm. I hate to admit that I have difficulty accepting that I failed to pass the exams when I really thought it was so easy, I really thought it was rather like child’s play and yet here I am waiting for every damn ringing of my celphone.

If only I know where I failed, what I did wrong or what I didn’t do so that I can do something about it next time but as things goes none of those. They didn’t even bother to tell me I failed….they just didn’t call and I think that was rather rude!

Goodness! Do forgive me I know I am ranting and I hate to do that but I really need somewhere to bent my frustrations and this is the best I can do at the moment. I have no one to call and talk to; I just feel so worthless at this point…I hate this!


5 Responses to “Brooding………………..”

  1. Jenie you are never worthless. You are one of the most wonderful human beings in the world, a good mother, a hard worker and a smart woman. It is their loss. If it’s anything like here they may have hired someone just because they think she looked better or something else. Apparentlyt God didn’t mean for you to have that job, which means there is a sound reason why you didn’t get it. You’re a beautiful person, don’t let the worlds crap upset you.

    • otakujade Says:

      That’s what I kept thinking about these past few days, Bonnie, that maybe God just didn’t want me to get that job because I would need more time for the kids. I mean, considering what happened to us last Friday afternoon….I’ve been feeling so tired since Saturday and I hope it ends soon.

  2. I understand how u feel! I get the same way over things other people think are inconsiquential, bu don’t get depressed “enough” over other things. try not to think of it as failing, but rather that it was not meant to be. HUGS!

  3. catchan1980 Says:

    Don’t be sad, neesan. It’s only one company — you’ll find a better one soon.

    And I agree with you on that part about them not contacting you personally and informing you of the status. Are we just going to assume that if they did not call back in the next 72 years, it means we failed?

    Some companies DO call/email back to let you know whether you made it or not. I remember getting such a letter from one of my dream companies…ADB 😛

    What job are you looking for? Maybe I can help you 🙂

    Good luck!

    • otakujade Says:

      Catchan…I was actually looking for a part time job to get additional money for some of the things I’m planning…like the wedding and of course my formal Nihonggo Schooling. An additional earning would be a great help.

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