Self Questions…

Last Monday, at around 4pm we received a call from our monitoring unit that a mother and child were hit by a bus right in front of our camp; the CCTV spread in and out the camp recorded everything.

The woman was a Non-Uniformed Personnel of the PNP on leave because she had important errands she needed to do. With her was her 3-year old only daughter.  As they crossed the street, using the pedestrian crossing in front of the camp, the child holding on to her mother’s hand while she raised her hand to notify any on-coming vehicle that they we’re crossing, a bus came speeding towards them and struck both mother and child. The 3-year old daughter was dead on the spot, her skull crushed under the wheel of the bus while the mother lay semi-conscious aware that she had lost her child and severed one of her arm. The bus driver had intended to run but he was ceased by policemen deployed in the area and was taken under custody and was later transferred to QCPD.  Upon investigation the driver said he didn’t notice the woman and her child crossing, while eye witnesses said that he was looking at another direction not keeping his eyes on the road as he was supposed to because he was rushing to pick up passengers – the bus coming from a stop sign had sped up.

As the office became abuzz with the news of the accident, everyone expressing their horrified reaction to the accident and their empathy for the lost of the child, I sat there simply watching. I don’t know if it’s because I am sick and couldn’t really speak out much due to my asthma or that I am simply emotionally deficient that I cannot find a connection with the accident. Everyone was so concern, like it was their relative or something but here I was just sitting there and not saying a thing, not even feeling anything except remorse that I don’t feel the same.  I pity the woman and I feel bad about the lost of the child but somehow it’s not with the same intensity as the rest of the people around me seem to feel. Am I being truthful? Am I even normal? Or are they being over acting? Or have my training not to show too much emotion in front of other people getting the best of me that I cannot feel it anymore?


2 Responses to “Self Questions…”

  1. I think you’re perfectly normal. Everyone reacts differently. Just because the people around you were expressing one type of emotion, that doesn’t mean that is what they were feeling inside. There’s no doubt that some WERE indeed horrified. However, it is possible that some may act that way because that is the typical social response. There are pressures for us all to act a certain way so people are programmed to respond in a proper manner. That doesn’t mean you need to be just another sheep in the herd. And it certainly doesn’t make you a “bad” person.

    • otakujade Says:

      Thanks for the comments…it feels wonderful to know that some else out there understands what I’m feeling. There are times when I really wondet about how since these people are about what they say. I just never learned to fake my responses though, I do know how to keep my opinions to myself when I think it won’t be received favorably.

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