Of..Pride and Prejudice

Posted in Uncategorized on September 12, 2018 by otakujade

I’ve watched this movie half a dozen times, probably. Mostly, the two latest versions – one with Keira Knightly which is my favorite and the other the one with Alan Rickman, which I watched because of him particularly. But that is not why I am here now….

I know I haven’t been writing on my blog for so long…years probably, I’ve been intending to start writing again but time and all the distractions of life kept me from it. Especially now with this new profession I entered,  barely have time for personal things much less pleasure such as what these blogs afford me. But now I have something to say, to express which I daresay Facebook or any other social media sites cannot offer.

As I earlier mentioned I have watched this movie and read the book several times but it is only now that it has affected me so deeply. There are circumstances in my life which changed my perspective about the story and which made me appreciate it even more. I am especially drawn towards the unique but very admirable relationship between Elizabeth Bennet and her father. She wasn’t the loveliest nor the liveliest and certainly she was very critical of their ways but she was her father’s favorite and so he allows her certain privileges her other sisters do not enjoy.

Their relationship hit me so hard this time, having lost my own father just a few weeks ago. I guess I haven’t stopped grieving, not you actually can stop grieving the lost of one so dear…but I haven’t cried as much as I needed to I guess. I have kept myself busy in order to keep my mind off things, but I think that was wrong. I feel guilty that I haven’t grieved my father’s lost enough…when my brother and sister cried their hearts out I tried to keep a straight face; when they spoke during our father’s internment I pretended to be busy with something so I wouldn’t have to go and say something, I know I wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face then; and his casket was being lowered in the grave, I felt numb all over and kept to myself. My husband being what he is, didn’t know how to help me either.

But what my brother said during the internment service was true, Papa had trouble expressing his affections, and so we, all three of us, inherited the same trait. It’s easy to write about it as I do not but expressing my emotions face to face, that’s the challenge. Oh we all know Papa loved, he showed us so in so many ways – not expressedly but suggestively. Papa worked his way to a comfortable life, he came to the city with no money and no connections but he able to make a good life for himself and his family. Both our parents were entrepreneur, but Papa having the luxury of managing his own time made sure that he is able to join us, his children, during meals. Mama showed her affections for us in a different way of course, and we never felt we were unloved or anything like so but Papa notably really made time for us. He would leave his tailoring shop at 11:30 AM so he could have lunch with whoever of us children were at home at the time and then around 1:00 PM he would return to his shop. He would be home again at 7:00 PM just in time for dinner and would stay with us the rest of the night. He would leave again after having breakfast with us the next day. That was his routine until he decided to retire 15 years ago, when my siblings and I were already established and have families of our own.

I guess Lizzie’s relationship with her father hit me so hard because I see myself in her. I have always been a Papa’s girl, though Papa never dictated our choices he would always have a strong opinion about them but with me he had always been very tolerant. Even to my choice of husband, in this way my husband was like Mr. Darcy though less privileged, people are wary of him because he, husband, have trouble socializing and he has trouble talking to people about mundane things or striking up a conversation. But Papa, understood all that. When  my husband and I have issues, I know that it took Papa great efforts to approach me and just talk about it. He didn’t give any opinion about the issues we were having but he was just there so I can talk and in his unique way of doing he made me feel better and more confident about myself. And that another thing, Papa raised us to be proud of who were are, to be confident of our abilities and to have courage to take on any challenges – thus, people see us, siblings, as having very strong personalities and that was thanks to our father.

And I miss him so much. I live so close to my parents’ home that before I would often just pop into their house entering through the back door and say hello to him. Or find him on the terrace, wave up at him and ask him how his day have been or wave good bye as I leave for work or remind him not to stay too long in the terrace as it gets hot towards noon and that’s not good for his BP. Now, I can’t do that anymore…. What hurts me most was the last time I saw him – about a day before he had his cardiac arrest – I saw him sitting by the window and I went to him, we talked for a few minutes and I left because I needed to go to my own physical therapy. How I wished I had hugged him or kissed him before I left that day instead of simply squeezing his hand. I kissed him at the ICU, I wouldn’t hug him because of all the tubes in his body and the machine he was hooked on to, but I wonder even then if he would still hear me say that I love him or even feel my lips on his forehead.

Dear Papa, I miss you so much. I know that we’re all grown up and established now but I still miss your presence. For the first time my life I don’t have you, the one person I aim to always please and make proud. I do my best because I didn’t want to disappoint you; it makes me so happy to hear talk about our accomplishments to your friends and relatives and I miss hearing the genuine pride I hear as you tell your stories – how a simple man who only graduated six grade was able to establish himself and send all 3 of his children to respectable private schools. We were the first generation of college graduates from your side of the family and we will make sure that our children will be able to finish college too because we know it’s important to you. You have always regretted not being able to finish school but have  we your children have always been proud of how much you’ve taught yourself. You have left us with the legacy of thirst for knowledge, the courage to persevere, and the give of faith that we all endeavor to pass on to our children and we will teach them to pass these on to their children and their children’s children as well. You were our bond Papa, and we will make sure that your passing will not draw us apart but will pull us closer. Rest now Papa, we miss you but we will carry on and we will take care of Mama for you. I love you Papa.   

Coming Home…

Posted in Uncategorized on November 28, 2016 by otakujade

This is silly! I have written so many posts here for years..and then I had to stop not wanting my personal troubles to spill over on my writings…and so, here I am now – still challenged by uncertainly but having that need to write just like before, when I started this page. The only problem now….how the heck do I begin again???

It’s weird that I have written so many posts for so long, been all over the place and now I really don’t know what do say. I want desperately to write about something that my readers would enjoy, something that would capture their attention and yet here I am lost and uncertain…Sheesh! What happened?

So here I am…writing whatever comes to mind hoping through this I would be able to awaken my muse once again and she would bless me with interesting things to write about. Hoping that my next posts wouldn’t be about just simple musings but something informative and at the same time amusing; a post that would once again capture attention.

In the last 3 years I wasn’t here a lot has changed. I have started on a new career – teaching – and as I write this I am here inside our classroom, my students scattered all around the room working on their individual tasks. I so wanted to share with them this blog but not just right now. I really don’t have anything interesting for them to read but may, definitely later, I will share with them this page and let them judge for themselves what their mentor is all about.

Movie Review: Kyukyoku! Hentai Kamen (“Ultimate!! Pervert Mask”)

Posted in Movies with tags , , on December 16, 2013 by otakujade


Sides hurting from laughing…face flushed and red….This was probably the silliest movie we’ve ever watched but we totally enjoyed it.  A word of caution to the un-initiated on these type of movies though, you have to be an otaku to be able to enjoy this!

The premises presented were ridiculous and impossible but it was so much fun watching this movie. I would have loved to give a summary of the film but doing so would be a major spoiler as this would give away some of the best parts of the film.

So here’s a bit of info about the character: Kyosuke Shikijoh was a high school student who has a very strong sense of justice but is considered a weakling because he doesn’t know how to fight. He joined the school martial arts club to get skilled in the art of fighting but he doesn’t seem to be improving at all. He was also quite useless around girls – when he is around them either he clams up or says the wrong thing. Something his mother always bother him about, telling him he has not inherited any of her genes. What sort of genes? Well, the perverted genes what else..hehehe! She was an S/M (sadomasochist) worker and it was on the job when she met Kyosuke’s father who was a police officer and who turned out to be quite the masochist himself…talk about perverted genes!

So to cut the story short Kyosuke found out that he did have that perverted genes within him.  His lady love was taken hostage by some robbers and he wanted to save her.  Kyosuke over powered one of the robbers and decided to disguise himself and put on his clothes and mask. However, he mistakenly put on a ladies party on his face thinking it was a mask and the genes was activated turning him into Hentai Kamen!!!!


hentai kamen power max


It was the most outrageous thing, especially as they tried to justify and give logic to the silliest thing on the film. Hubby commented how interesting it was that they were able to put some rationale into this very odd Japanese perversion (used ladies panties vendo machine, quickly comes to mind!)

All in all, it was a fun movie but again you have to be an otaku to enjoy it!

Movie Review: Mortal Instruments (City of Bones)

Posted in Movies with tags , , on November 25, 2013 by otakujade


I know this is a tad late, well, I actually refused to watch this movie a few months back because someone told me its a lot like the Twilight Saga which I utterly hate; I hated the book and I absolutely loathe the movies. I can’t stand Kristine Stewart’s portrayal of Bella Swan makes me want to throw her an inhaler since she seemed to be out of breath and about to have an asthma attack all the time. So you can imagine why I didn’t want to even try watching this movie.

Anywhoo, someone just recently informed me that its nothing like Twilight so I took the chance, I liked the trailer I saw on Youtube but was really put off by the Twilight comment. I also wanted to read the book but seeing Stephanie Meyer’s comment about it made me apprehensive. Not that I hate love stories, because I sometimes do (e.g. Daniel Steele, Barbara Cartland and Nicholas Sparks) I just don’t like sappy ones. And I love the vampire genre too, but my vampires are more on the mythology created by Anne Rice.


So, I finally got to watch this movie and my friend was right, it was nothing like Twilight at all. Well, I liked the originally of the concept on the Crusaders asking an angel for help during the champagne and said angel poured out his (I always refer to angels as his because I have never seen any Biblical reference to any female angels) own blood on a cup and gave it to the Crusaders to drink from. And anyone who drank his blood was turned into half angel and half human able to see and fight off demons. A good catch though is that they still remain mortal enough to die. Now these people were then called Shadowhunters because they can see what is unseen by normal people called mundies.


There are two ways in which Shadowhunters are created, either they were born to parents who are Shadowhunters themselves or they are made, by allowing that person to drink from the Mortal Cup. Don’t know how that works really since the angel was only supposed to have given his blood once; since there was no blessing given to the cup itself for it how the power to turn ordinary humans into Nephilim (half angel, half human). But the deal is that the transition had to be done in childhood as adults who drink from the cup rarely survive; also only selected humans are able to be turned into Nephilim or they die. But I liked the concept, I’m trying to read the books now hoping to understand this concept better and find some explanation for the cup’s “holy” changing properties.


And IMHO that was the only thing original in the story, sad to say. The story was basically a mix of Harry Potter (the use of magic and runes to fight their enemies and tap into the world of the supernatural), Underworld (the fight with guns and swords) and Star Wars (the leads who first fell in love with each other turned out to be siblings – Clary (Princess Leah) and Jace (Luke Skywalker); they got separated during infancy and whose Dad turned out to be the villain, Valentine (Darth Bader). See the pattern?


But entertainment-wise the movie was decent and greatly entertaining. As I mentioned earlier I’m reading the book now hoping to see more into the story as only books can do and hopefully, I will like this story better. Wish me luck on that.

Book Review: The House of Hades

Posted in Books with tags , , , , , , on November 18, 2013 by otakujade


This book started exactly where the last one (The Mark of Athena) left off – with Percabeth (that’s Percy and Annabeth) falling together down to Tartarus and Percy giving last minute instructions for the others to find the Doors of Death from above ground while he and Anabeth will search for it from within Tartarus and seal them from both sides to prevent the vanquished monsters from returning.  Important Note: If you haven’t read the previous book, you’re not supposed to be here otherwise this might ruin the experience for you.

The mission was simple enough – Find the Doors of Death. However, it’s not that easy to accomplish.

On board the Argo II the others, meaning Jason, Leo, Hazel, Frank, Piper, and Coach Hedge set out on the quest – well several quests really. Aside from searching for the Doors of Death those on the Argo II also had to return the Athena Parthenon to its rightful place in the ancient lands, something the Roman contingents aboard have a lot of misgiving considering that the ancient lands are forbidden to them. Add to the difficulty the impending war between the Romans and the Greeks, with the Roman demigods led by Octavian closing in on Camp half-Blood and as if that wasn’t enough they also have to fight all the monsters Gaea sent out to kill them.

Meanwhile, Percy and Anabeth fell for what seemed like an eternity down to Tartarus, as the reached the end of the tunnel. Upon seeing the ground with a river running through it, Anabeth told Percy to try to control the water to cushion their fall. Percy managed that but was surprised at the amount of effort he had to exert to do it. The river did cushion their fall but it was the river Cocytus, the River of Lamentation, and as soon as they plunged into to it they were over come with sorrow and hopelessness. It was again Anabeth who realized what the river was and urged Percy to fight back. They fought their way towards the shore and collapsed. They were both injured from the fall and from the shards of glass which made up the shore of the River Cocytus. Anabeth remembered that the River of Fire had healing properties and so they set out to find it and drank the scalding water from the river to heal themselves.

There in Tartarus the couple was forced to face off once again many of the monsters and Giants they have previously defeated. They were weakened and near the end of their wits when Bob/Iapetus came to their aid. Having lost his memory when Percy pushed him on the River Lethe, he was still convinced that his name is Bob and Percy is a friend. Honestly, Percy and Anabeth wouldn’t have survived the journey without him, and so he is one of my favorite characters in this book.

There were also plenty of character developments that took place in this new installment of the series. Hazel discovered that she has the power to control the mist and we were also given additional information about her lineage. I’m not exactly a huge fan of Hazel but I am very much interested in her background and I’m looking forward to finding out more about her past and her family line. The book also gave us a premier seat on Frank Zhang’s transition from the clumsy, kind-hearted hero into a powerful warrior. He’s still in with Hazel though 🙂

However, to me the biggest revelation was Nico’s secret, it was completely unexpected but it was also a welcome development. Here we see Rick Riordan’s sensitivity and his effort to make his stories more applicable to the times. I won’t tell you what Nico’s secret is though – you will have to read that for yourself. ;-D

A New Day….

Posted in Introspection with tags , , , , on November 10, 2013 by otakujade

Often we find the greatest revelations, the most important lessons at the most unusual sources – the lesson was unexpected and yet at the same time freeing….

…”there’s no way you can go through a trauma like that and not come back changed. The point of these things (Agent Coulson’s scars) is to remind us that there is no going back – there’s only moving forward. You feel different, because you are different.

Agent May

Marvels Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Agent Coulson experienced death during the battle of New York as was seen in the movie Avengers, whether it was 8 seconds or 40 he still died. It was much the way how I feel on certain aspects of myself. This is the first time I will candid face what happened to us, my husband cheated on me – and no matter how small or short the instances behind that act was something inside me died. Call it innocence, naivete or ignorance – but the fact is that day he admitted the affair to me and walked out of my life something died within me. For more than a decade, I believed every word he said, trusted him and set him on a pedestal as a man above all man. I was wrong.

And though he is back now, and trying to make amends for the wrong he did nothing could bring back what we have lost. We are forever changed. I have been crying for so long, in solitude, because I didn’t want anyone to see my pain because I cannot understand it myself. But now I do, and now I cry to mourn for the death of my complancy – there is no going back but I can decide to move forward. What was done is done, and there’s no taking back what happened. I have lost trust in the man I have loved and nurtured and adored for the past 12 years. I gave him another chance, I don’t know if I will ever trust him as much as I used to – maybe if he proved worthy I can trust him more or maybe less but that will be up to him.

A part of me died and I am changed, I am different but I refuse to be a victim. I am different and I will better, I will strive to be better, I need to be better – for myself and for my children. I will never be able to forget what happened but I can take the lesson from that painful experience and be a better person.

I’ve been going around in circles for too long. It seems like I would take one step forward and then a step back . That’s over now. I will stop reliving the pains and nurturing the slights but mostly I refuse to give that girl any space in my mind, my life or my marriage. The memories will always be there, the slight will always be painful and the trust will need to be rebuild but I must start healing. Not for my husband, but for myself and for the children. I will be better for me. That will be my mantra and the tenets in which I will live by.

Movie Review: Gatchaman: Battle of the Planet (Movie)

Posted in Anime, Movies with tags , on October 16, 2013 by otakujade


For the much younger generation who probably have not heard or only have a very vague knowledge of this anime based movie, here’s a bit of history…

The Science Ninja Team Gatchaman or simply Gatchaman was an anime created by Tatsuo Yoshida in 1972. Gatchaman was composed of five members – 4 guys and a girl – much like Voltes V and Combattler V. Though make no mistake, Gatchaman predates both anime series by a couple of years.  In some countries the series is known as G-Force which was lifted from one of its OVAs – G-Force: Guardians of Space (1986). The main theme of Gatchaman involves the preservation of natural resources and the responsible use of technology for advancements and progress. The theme of the anime clearly reflects ideals way advance for its time. The main villain of the anime was a group of technologically advanced aliens known as Galactors who wants to invade the earth for its natural resources including oil, water, sugar, uranium, etc. A shape-shifting hermaphrodite known as Berg Kattse is the leader of the Galactor.

The Gatchaman team employ super robots to fight the giant robots used by the Galactor to attack the earth. They are often aided by a mysterious fighter known only as the Red Impulse which was later revealed to be Ken’s father.  Aside from the super robot the team also employ a unique highly violent and effective fighting style akin to their avian namesakes,  developed by their creator Dr. Nambu, which enable them to perform superhuman feats much like the ninjas of legend.  They also have a kickass ride called the God Phoenix, a supersonic plane capable of underwater travel and minor space flight as necessary.

Team Members:

Ken, the Eagle (Owashi no Ken) – team leader, pilot and tactical expert.

Joe, the Condor (Konduro no Jo) – second in command, marksman and weapons expert.

Jun, the Swan (Shiratori no Jun) – the only girl on the team, electronics and demolitions expert.

Junpei, the Swallow (Tsubakuro no Jinpei) – the youngest member of the team at age 10 or 11, reconnaissance expert.

Ryu, the Owl  (Mimizuku no Ryu) – main pilot of the God Phoenix and muscle man of the team.


Review and Major Comparisons between the Movie and the Series:

being fans of the series since, well since we were quite young, hubby and I excitedly watched the movie and came out – not quite sure whether we were happy about it or not. Definitely we were happy to see that the series finally get its live-action adaption and that it was done by a Japanese company – we actually made a major sigh of relief with that bit of information. However, we expected to be totally blown away by the movie as we were with Rorouni Kenshin but Gatchaman the Movie, was a huge let down.

There were major plot and character personality changes that was just hard to ignore. By now we’re used to seeing slight changes from the series to the film but these were just too big. Firstly, there was no mention in the series about special genes, called Receptors being present in the team members. The movie postulates that the Science Ninja Team was special chosen because of their Receptor genes which enable them to imbue weapons with certain properties making them able to penetrate the Galactors armor. The Galactors are said to be immune to any human weapons except when they are powered or enhanced by the Receptors. In the series, the team members were especially trained in the unique ninja style patterned after their avian namesake – much like the ninjas of legend.  There was no special gene, no superhuman powers given to the members aside from their special trainings and natural skills, that was the theme of the anime of the 70s – just look at Voltes V, Daimos, Combattler V and the likes. The gene-thing was an idea postulated in the 90s where DNA and genes were the big theme among anime such as Evangelion, Gundam, etc.

Secondly, in the movie the audience was made to believe that there was a sort of training school for Gatchman members, and that aside from the team in Japan there were other Receptor teams fighting Galactors in other parts of the globe. This global cooperation force does not exist in the original anime. In the anime, the Gatchaman team came from different parts of the globe but all with Japanese descent.  Jo, who was originally named George Asakura was Italian with Japanese descent, his parents were members of the Galactor until they were assassinated while trying to escape, Dr. Nambu rescued the young George and renamed him Jo. Jun was an American with Japanese descent, she was raised in an orphanage and recruited by Dr. Nambu. There was also no mention in the movie of the special techniques or avian skills used by the team members, though the speed was emphasized with Jo’s fighting style there was no mention of why or how he attained such skill. The other members did not even exhibit any of the fighting styles often seen in the original anime.

Thirdly, the film did not make any effort to develop any of the characters – villains and heroes. Thus, the film seemed shallow and the villains did not frighten at all. I mean there was no feeling of threat at all, that the viewer can relate too. The film fail to get the audience involved in the plot and this makes for a very dull viewing experience.  The film makers tried to come up with a love angle on the film which was not present whatsoever in the anime and that too failed big time!

Fourth, Berg Kattse was NOT and I repeat NOT a WOMAN! WTF!? Berg Kattse was a shape-shifter and basically a hermaphrodite which means the character can either appear as a woman or a man depending on the need. Berg Kattse was a character, not a title that can be transferred as it was made to appear in the movie.

In conclusion, this movie could have been nice but it turned into a big waste of time. It failed in so many levels that I pity the theater that gambled on showing this film in the first place, which for us was SM Cinema. This was the first time that we entered a cinema where there were probably less than 20 people seated. The anime was a classic, and thus only a handful of young people today know about it. It was either you grew up with the anime, like us, or they’re real anime otakus who know far more than the average anime watcher. Hence, SM Cinema should have advertised the movie instead of taking the route they made with Rorouni Kenshin. Maybe if they had, more people would have watched the movie but as it was we only found out about it by accident and that was because we live near the mall. That plus, the fact that the movie wasn’t really very good…well, I would say the Failed result should be expected.  😦